“If only I was slimmer”
“If only I was happier”
“If only I was more successful”
If only, if only, if only…..
If some of these “if only’s” resonate with you, you may be suffering from Excusitis.
By definition, the word “excuse” means, “to try to remove blame from,” implying then, that to make an excuse requires thought and intention. It is something we do on purpose, not something that happens to us. Ah ha!
That being said, I’d like to challenge you to view chronic excuse making, a.k.a Excusitis, as a mindset as opposed to internalising it as an illness. Having Excusitis, my friends is a choice!
You might be suffering from Excusitis if you are consistently deferring responsibility, failing to accept greater responsibility, and/or placing every bit of blame on anyone or anything other than yourself.
It may be that you are fearful and underestimate your intelligence and talents.
Maybe you are always focusing on the failures of your past, or maybe you’ve been thinking so negatively for so long that you actually believe you’re inadequate.
But guess what……
Excuses are acutely different from legitimate reasons, and when we aren’t careful we can often disguise excuses as reasons, so it’s important to both know and understand the difference.
To get a better sense of this, try to separate the following list into two categories: Reason vs. Excuse.
- I didn’t exercise yesterday because I didn’t have enough time in my busy day
- I didn’t exercise yesterday because I didn’t prioritise my day properly
- I’ll never be able to get a high paying job because I don’t have any qualifications
- I’ll never be able to get a high paying job because I don’t take the time to invest in my future and in myself.
You were probably able to tell that the even numbered reasons were legitimate while the odd numbered reasons were not; they were simply excuses.
I highly recommended these two exercises!
1. Take the time now to list some of the common excuses you tend to make in your life. Now dig deeper and try to understand the underlying reasons you’re making these excuses.
2. Next try this: any time you catch yourself about to make an excuse, replace it with a legitimate reason instead.
The minute you make the decision to be honest with yourself and put these exercises into practice, you’re laying the right foundation to altering the toxic mindsets that are holding you back in life.
It takes a lot of courage to admit our own pit falls, but awareness is the key to change.
You have the ability to turn “If only” into “I WILL” the moment you kick your Excusitis to the curb!